Sealed Lips
by shuusetsu
Summary: Misaki claimed a crime he didn't do. It resulted to Misaki gaining an enemy. Usami Akihiko. (ONESHOT)
1. Beautiful Red

_**Hi everyone. It's been a while for me ne? Hmmm...what to say...haha...I really enjoyed writing this looong oneshot. Mainly because it is another sort of an experiment for me. But I guess I have to say that this is heavy (i love heavy stories...hahaha). I paused for many times while writing this because I was thinking things. It turned out to be a long one shot because it's just isn't possible to make things believable in a rush; making me decide to divide it into chapters. .Hhehehehe...so here it is...**_

_**i hope you like it and please do share your thoughts...always happy hearing from you guys...**_

_**-shuusetsu**_

**Sealed Lips**

* * *

_Beautiful Red_

* * *

Unlike his brother, Takahashi Misaki was deemed useless. He wasn't smart. He wasn't tall. He was weak. And he always relied to his only family, Takahashi Takahiro. Given the situation, the young man, twenty at that time, grew up looking up to his brother.

Takahiro was like the sun to Misaki. And because Misaki was simple minded, he resigned himself to be of help to his brother, whatever it would be. Even to owning a crime Misaki even didn't do.

* * *

_"Usagi...remember my little brother?" Takahiro asked as he was removing his lab coat. "He's coming to live with me and Uruha starting next week."_

_Usami Akihiko, a writer who was friends with two scientists Takahashi Takahiro and Sugita Uruha, who were housemates due to their partnership in their research, placed the book he was reading down and eyed the man._

_"I see...well you said he offered to help in the household chores and stuff...sounds trivial to me."_

_"Oiiii!" a whiny voice came booming from the author's main door into the living room. "Don't talk like that to dear Misaki-kun! I've seen him once and he's a doll!"_

_"Uruha...don't run inside the house, you just slipped the other day..." Usami grumbled, ruffling the man's long black hair before kissing him on the forehead. Yes, Usami Akihiko was having an affair with the beautiful man Sugita Uruha. And Takahashi Takahiro knew about it._

_"Hai, hai, you two love birds...I'll leave you two for some quality time," Takahiro announced with a grin. "Thanks for the book Usagi, I was looking all over fot it. I'm going first. And you Uruha, go home early, we need to discuss the results of the experiment at home."_

_"Yes, I know..." Sugita replied, cuddling comfortably on his lover's lap. "I'll be home by eleven."_

* * *

_"You've seen Takahiro's brother?" Usami asked as he played with Uruha's silky hair with his fingers._

_Sugita looked up and smiled. "Yes...but I am kind of worried you know?"_

_"Worried...?" the silverhaired man repeated, the darkness of the night creeping into the living room. _

_"Well, look," Sugita started, frowning. "Takahiro together with me is being escouted by a very popular company...but Misaki-kun isn't an achiever. I bet he's jealous at some point."_

_For a long while, Usami just stayed silent as he pondered things. "It's human nature to feel jealous, siblings, lovers, everyone..." the man gently replied._

_"He told me he was jealous of his brother before and even to me jokingly...poor boy...lacking of self-confidence."_

_Usami couldn't care less about Takahashi Misaki. The only important persons in his life were Uruha, his lover and Takahiro, his bestfriend. _

* * *

Misaki took out the keys that was sent to him from his pocket, and a chain-less locket fell out of it. The locket opening on its own, revealing a happy picture. Misaki picked it up hurriedly and smiled from the bottom of his heart.

_"Finally...I'm here..."_

The ticking clock said 9:53 in the evening. Everything was silent as if the whole world became suddenly devoid of the living. Misaki hurriedly removed his shoes and pressed on the lights. And suddenly he dropped his huge bag on the floor with a thud.

The whole place was perfect. But the tense air inside was warning the teen that something wasn't right. It was like a calm before the storm in his brother and friend's 3LDK apartment.

"Nii-chan?" Misaki called or whispered. The truth was Misaki didn't even know if there was something that came out of his mouth. He was just very worried. Worried for his brother, and for their room mate, Sugita Uruha.

Slowly and without sound, the teen who came to Tokyo from Shikoku to stay with his brother for good was welcomed with a misfortune.

"What's going..." Misaki walked into the dim hallway and sighed a sigh of relief when he saw from the open door his brother standing, his back facing him.

"Nii-chan! Are you okay? The house wha-"

The moment the brunette entered the room was the time Misaki saw red. Blood. Blood pooling under his brother who was still standing there like a rock.

Heart throbbing, Misaki swallowed hard. The roommate and close friend Sugita he once saw was there lying on his back. Beautiful like a mannequin, his long shiny hair soaking with his own blood.

Misaki could even get a conclusion without head spinning formulas. Sugita Uruha was dead.

Reaching out his hand to his brother, thinking his brother was injured himself, Misaki once more called. But Takahiro slowly turned to him. His face, his white lab gown, his hands, were in red. It made the man's face paper white.

"Mi-Misaki...I...I..." Takahiro stammered, his eyes unfocused. His right hand, still holding the envelope opener streaked with blood. "I didn't mean to..."

The more Misaki stared at his brother, the more he was getting scared. Because he could feel what was coming next. It was creeping, crawling into his skin, suffocating him. And the only word that came out of his mouth was 'why'.

"The research that we've been doing for two years..."the older man murmured as if he was talking to the wall behind Misaki. "It's successful...Misaki it's successful. A cure for HIV..."

Nailed on the spot, blown by the huge news, Misaki grabbed the hem of shirt tightly. It would be a discovery the whole world would be thankful of. But still, he wasn't happy. He felt he wanted to puke. The stench of fresh blood filling his nose.

"But Misaki...we sort of got a misunderstanding...he...he wanted to keep the patent...but I already talked to a huge foreign company to sell it..."

Misaki couldn't help it. He couldn't breath. He couldn't utter a single word.

"They'd buy it for a very huge sum of money, compared to our local ones, Misaki if that happens...WE WOULD NEVER HAVE TO WORK A DAY IN OUR LIVES..."

"What are you saying...?" Misaki whispered.

Hysterically, Takahiro dashed towards his younger brother, holding the teen on both shoulders. "Believe me...I didn't mean to do this! God, my life is over. All the hardwork...all my dreams...all gone..."

"Nii-chan..." Misaki mouthed, heart aching so bad. The glowing rays of his brother would be extinguised right before him.

"I don't want to go to jail...I'm sorry Uruha...I'm sorry..."

Hugging his younger brother, Takahiro cried like a child.

And then the two froze.

"Takahiro? Uruha...? a barritone voice, cool and firm came into their hearing. "I brought food since Uruha sent me a message you guys haven't eaten yet..."

The distant sound of table wares clanging, both brothers froze. Usami knew never to interrupt the research partners in their work room so he just started setting the expensive sushi he bought.

Feeling there was a sudden cold water poured over them, both brothers started trembling.

"Usagi..." Takahiro choked. "God...I killed his lover...what do I do...?"

Helpless, Misaki just stood there, staring at the pale, yet beautiful face of the man on the floor. He knew Sugita Uruha and Usami Akihiko, alias Usagi by his brother because of the emails Takahiro had sent him. It was like knowing them already by just reading and looking. But that time, Misaki was just numb. He of all people wanted his brother to succeed. He wanted to protect him.

Usami glanced at the dim hallway with furrowed brows. Having second thoughts at first, Usami left the kitchen and started for the work room of the two. His keys dangling from his dark denim jeans producing a sweet chime that sounded like a dead's tune for the brothers.

"Oi, did the two of you already died from hunger?" Usami muttered while walking.

"Misaki..." Takahiro gritted, sounding like a strangled animal in a trap. Scared, helpless, hopeless.

As if everything turned gray, Misaki felt light headed. His own clothes stained with blood. His own face has gone paper white.

_"It's okay...okay...it's okay...Nii-chan didn't mean it..." _Misaki chanted.

"I killed Sugita-san," Misaki whispered to his brother's ear before grabbing the sharp object from his brother's grasp and pushed the man away.

_"Unlike me, Nii-chan could do something useful. He could save thousands of lives...Unlike me..."_

And like a maniac, the young man started slashing in the air while crying himself.

"Misaki?!" Takahiro yelled. "What are you-"

Misaki slashed and slashed until he made a long cut on his brother's bicep. He slashed and slashed until Takahiro became out of balance and fell on top of the late Sugita Uruha. He slashed and slashed as if it could cut back the time and undo everything.

"MISAKI!"

Hearing the pained scream, Usami's easy steps became huge and fast.

"Takahiro?!" Usami called. And panting, the tall man stood frozen by the door frame. He was met by reddish, emerald eyes staring at him widely. Blood on his clothes and hands. And a conflicted expression. "What on Earth..."

Misaki swallowed a sob and his shaking fingers finally loosened, letting the cutter stained with new blood fall on the floor.

Usami's eyes at his wounded bestfriend first and slowly, to his motionless love on the floor.

"U-uruha?" Usami mouthed. His breath almost leaving him as he slowly approached his lover. "Uruha?" he called as if it would bring the sweet and intelligent man back to life.

He caught a glimpse of the long cut on his bestfriend's arm before holding Uruha into his arms. He was so distraught and confused that Usami couldn't even shed a tear.

"You're Misaki?" _The brother?_ "How can you do this...? To my Uruha...and to your brother?!" Usami spat.

Throwing a short glance at his confused brother, a glance that meant thousands of thoughts, Misaki bowed his head at Usami.

"I didn't mean it..." Misaki whispered as soft as a breath.

Usami's head was throbbing with all mixed emotions. And there was one thing he could only derive with as he glared with his most hateful eyes at the boy. This innocent looking brunette before him was a murderer.

It made Usami's senses jumble and explode. Carefully, gently, respectfully, the man lay his dead lover on the floor and went to the shaking boy. Where did that strenght come from? That speed? That force?

The only thing Usami knew was he had punched the small figure so hard the body stumbled to the floor. He felt his fist tingle with pain. And heaving he watched the boy's face contort in pain, the teen's small lips quivering with blood.

Dialling a number into his phone, Usami Akihiko turned to Takahashi Takahiro who was caught up with everything.

"Takahiro..." Usami whispered, the tears that weren't there started flowing. "Consider. Your. Fucking. Brother. _Dead."_

* * *

please continue^^


	2. Prison

**Prison**

* * *

It caused an uproar. News, internet, newspapers, words of mouth. That a certain young man killed another and tried to kill his own brother. The object of the crime was smothered by Misaki's finger prints and Takahiro's due to self-defense. Usami Akihiko's witness' statement made the case stronger. But Misaki's confession nailed his coffin shut.

After a stressful whirl of events, he was brought into some privately owned prison after a verdict of life imprisonment. In just a night, Takahashi Misaki became one of the most hated. All the while, his brother, Takahashi Takahiro, who sealed his mouth shut due from Misaki's wishes became a hero in the medical world.

Two weeks. Two weeks without any contact from anyone, and Misaki just stared at the concrete walls inches thick before him. The room was a box of concrete, so much different than the bars he was expecting. No sound. No movement. No color. Nothing to do. Nothing to live by.

That time, Misaki realized then the meaning of 'time is dragging'. He could go crazy just by sitting at one corner. And he was supposed to stay there his entire lifetime? Seventy years, more or less?

"It's okay...Nii-chan for sure...is what the world needs..." the boy cheered himself. Though they were like sand against his tongue.

Misaki sighed and looked at the small table at the corner. Only his clothes were there. And the picture he used to put in the locket in between. It was a picture of him and his brother when they were still young. But what was important for the teen was what was at the back of it.

"Oi, someone's here to have a word with you."

It broke Misaki's train of thoughts and hurriedly, the teen looked up at the huge man in uniform who opened the steel door for him.

"Someone?" Misaki repeated but since he last talked two weeks ago, his voice was croaky.

The bulky man moved aside, revealing a man so familiar to him. Tall, handsome and his face said it all. He abhored Misaki. Usami Akihiko abhored Takahashi Misaki to the pits of hell.

"You may leave."

The sound of the metal door scraping against the concrete hurt Misaki's ears. But the teen couldn't even flinch. He didn't know whether to stand and greet the man. Or remain like a demented boy in one corner.

"My family owns this place..." Usami whispered. His eyes could burn a hole at the teen's head. "I could kill you right now and no one would know."

Misaki just cuddled into the corner. Hugging his knees to his chest. His prison clothes bulky. Anyone would feel pity. But not Usami.

The older man took more steps closer to the boy's mattress. His shoes clicking sharply, bouncing in all the corners of the grave of the living.

"Tell me. Why?"

The boy just bit his bottom lip. _"Why?"_

Usami sat at the edge of the bed. His chiselled body and tense muscles due to anger very obvious. His jaws clashing as the man remembered something.

_"He told me he was jealous of his brother before and even to me jokingly...poor boy...lacking of self-confidence."_

"Because you're useless?" Usami asked without even an expression. His lavender eyes colder than ice. "Hey...have you gone mute?"

_"I didn't kill him..."_

Misaki wanted for some reason to just sink where he was.

"Why...?" Usami repeated. "I SAID WHY?!" he shouted, grabbing the teen's face, forcing Misaki to have eye contact with him. "Because you're jealous of them?"

_"I already accepted that I am not as good as Nii-chan long ago...but I've come to know my good points..."_ Misaki thought.

"WHAT?! ANSWER ME!" the man hissed at the boy's ear. His fingers digging onto Misaki's cheeks.

_"I can cook...I can clean...and I am good at cheering people on..."_

The boy's lips quivering not from fear but due to something else opened to say no. But Misaki...

"I guess... I don't know, I blacked out..." Misaki replied with a forced smile.

A slap almost breaking Misaki's neck echoed into the room. And the innocent boy's sobs escaped his mouth.

_"Why then when it's me needing the cheering...No one's by my side?"_

Usami grabbed Misaki's collar and pulled the thin boy close to him. His hot breath grazing at Misaki's skin.

"...Bastard...Bring Uruha back to life!" Usami screamed at Misaki's face before slapping the teen on the other cheek. He slapped him hard and strong. He slapped him with all his might. But it was never enough.

"I didn't mean it..." Misaki muttered threw broken sobs. _"He didn't mean it..."_

"You think killing you is enough?" Usami's eyes started turning red. He hated this murderer. But there was a small voice inside him who was hurting for the teen too. But he was all too absorbed by anger the voice was being drowned away. "I am going to make your life miserable...you don't know what you got yourself into...by crossing ways with me."

Misaki raised his hand and held on to the arm almost choking him. He couldn't almost see past the hot liquid in his eyes. But he had only one plea.

"Forgive me..." _Forgive him...if he realizes it's his bestfriend who did that...Usami-san would get hurt more..."_

Usami threw the boy against the wall. And Misaki scrambled on the corner once more. Shaking, trembling, crying, bleeding.

Running his huge hand over his face, Usami heaved a deep breath.

"Save your apologies. They mean nothing. I'd be glad to see you die slowly..."

Misaki clasped his hands over his mouth. If he didn't do that, he might scream his lungs out from the pain. His body and face were aching so bad. But the most was his heart. That beating organ who seemed to be shredded to into pieces each time Usami Akihiko glares at him. It was more painful than all physical pains he was feeling.

"I'm sorry..."

Usami turned to the door. "Uruha had four stabs on the chest...I'll let you experience how painful each was."

Usami went out, the locking sound of the metal door from the outside sounding much stronger.

The boy ran towards the table to grab something to wipe his sweat and tears off. Pulling the small towel, the photo he treasure for a long time fell on the floor gracefully. He was ten then and his brother was 18. With aching joints, he picked it up and turned it to the other side.

_"I've liked him three years ago...when one day Nii-chan started mailing me all their photos and random stuff about his life in Tokyo..."_

Misaki's eyes clouded once more as a smiling face of Usami came to view. A small picture he printed out and pasted at the back of his and brother's picture.

"_Nii-chan told me all sorts of things about Uruha-san and Usami-san...all their wants...their personalities...and somehow...Usami-san drew me near... I know it is impossible..especially when he has Sugita-san by his side..."_

His tears were the only witnesses for his unrequitted love.

_"I was so happy to come to Tokyo because I will be able to see him and mingle with him. Even with just those things, I am fine and content...But this accident has to happen..."_

And Misaki curled up in a small ball where he was. Crying silently as he was touching his swollen and painful face. Imagining a more happy and warm first meeting with Usami.

"How can I fall in love with just looking at his picture...crazy...I'm crazy..." he muttered gritting his teeth. "And now...I am hated."

Protect his brother. A plausible yet insane way of brotherly love by Misaki.

* * *

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, it was all the same to Misaki. Days, nights, they were but a long and distant memory. The only thing to look forward to was the silverhaired man 'visiting' him.

Usami wouldn't do anything when he was sobber. He'd just stare at Misaki with eyes enough to tear at the boy's flesh. But when he's drunk, he'd turn into a fiend.

_"He really, really loves Sugita-san..."_ Misaki thought as he stared at the meal before him.

In a row of all convicts, Misaki seemed to be the youngest. No one would talk to him. It was 'mind your fucking business'. Until an old man, his hair thinnning on top took the empty seat before Misaki.

"You're all beaten up every week young man," the old man commented. "You can just call me 'grandpa'.

"..."

Misaki's huge eyes wandered from his tray untouched tray of food to the stranger. The man's skin was pale and sagging. His body had turned into a small, bony and rigid form. His face full of wrinkles, and his sad gray eyes were smiling at was all enough to stir Misaki inside.

"...grandpa..." Misaki mumbled as droplets the old man knew fell from the brunette's young yet swollen face. "I...I am T-k-shi...M-sa...ki..."

The clanging of other utensils seemed faraway as the two at the far end corner of the dining hall looked into each other's faces.

"People are blind, aren't they?"

"..."

"My eyes know a murderer..." the old man whispered like in a fairytale. "What are you doing here?"

Something was pulling at Misaki's tongue he only gasped.

Grandpa sighed, his tired face painting a burdened look. "Long ago...I was framed. Perhaps you weren't born yet...I was twenty-three, sentenced to ninety years. It's basically a life imprisonment in its own way," he continued. "Are they expecting me to live until 113 years?" he laughed.

The brunette, gaining more attention from his hiccups started counting with his fingers. "There was a person who lived up to 115...Grandpa...if you hang on, you'll be able to go out."

The old man smiled. A smile that brightened up his old face. " You remind me of Spring you know. he sighed. "Thank you. It's not too late for you as well...I can feel it."

The time for the meal has ended as the bell filled the area. Misaki and the old man weren't able to eat but both seemed satisfied for some reason.

"Grandpa..." Misaki called as the old man stood from his seat. "Can...can we talk again tomorrow?"

"Hang on to your hope, kid."

At the break of dawn, Misaki lost all his will. Grandpa died in his own cell. A peaceful death at the age of 109.

* * *

Face buried on his knees, Misaki didn't care anymore about the sound of the familiar door scraping against the floor. He didn't look up at the sound of familiar footsteps. And he didn't look up at the familiar stench of alcohol that filled his living grave.

Misaki thought he could carry it out...turned out, he wasn't strong enough to take one's responsibility on his small shoulders.

"Aren't you going to say hi?"

The brunette who lost all his appetite the entire day pretended he did not hear anything. He just rocked himself back and fort, back and fort like a broken doll. Crying for Grandpa. Crying for his brother. Crying for Usami. Crying for himself.

"It's supposed to be Uruha's birthday today...you know that?" Usami's unsteady words got closer and closer. "We were so looking forward to it..."

_"Grandpa...only four more years...me...why is this not enough...why torture me like this...?" _Misaki whispered hurriedly not listening to Usami._ "What would you do...if...if..."_

"What?" Usami hissed.

His lavender eyes turned into slits, grabbing Misaki's wrist in the air. He was a little taken aback by the stare he got from Misaki.

Lips trembling, flushed face, small body, messy hair...was this murderer always like this? So alluring that Usami wanted to make him cry even more. Was Takahashi Misaki always this vulnerable he wanted to force himself on him so suddenly? Or was it because his head was swimming with booze?

Yeah, his anger and booze combined together turning into just lust.

Shocked, Misaki had no time to react after being grabbed by the hair. His back slammed against the wall. So strong to knock his breath away for a few seconds.

It was the first time, more than seeing a dead body Misaki felt his skin crawling. Usami's eyes weren't the same as they glared hard on him. He pushed and pushed. He struggled. Yet it didn't seem to matter.

"Did you think you can escape? Didn't I say I'd make you miserable?" Usami whispered. His breath smelling of alcohol, and smoke.

"No..-No..."

Was his prison shirt made of paper? Misaki wondered as he watched them got torn away by Usami's hands.

"Plea-se..." Misaki begged, still pushing Usami away.

But Usami wasn't him anymore. He was just any other drunkard lost in memories.

As Usami's fingers bore deep into Misaki's arms, the captive could just shake his head hastily.

A strangled moan escaped Misaki's mouth when Usami bit his ear. A moan no one could hear, see and even realize but the four corners of his cellar.

"I don't want this..." Misaki begged. "I don't wan-"

As if Misaki's chant just threw a stoke into the fire, the lost man forced his mouth on Misaki, shutting Misaki up.

Muffled voice. Sucking sound. Hurried movements. Misaki felt lightheaded. His knees were starting to fail him. He started going on with the flow. When with just a simple word, Misaki broke from a bitter-sweet dream.

"U-ru-ha..." Usami whispered into Misaki's lips.

That hurt Misaki. Hurt him so much that suddenly he got his strenght back and for the first time, got to slap someone so hard on the face his palm felt hot.

Usami was taken aback. Licking the corner of his lips that tasted salty.

"Why are you-" Misaki breathed in, getting his support to remain standing from the wall.

"Why isn't this enough Usami-san?!" Misaki shouted. "What would you do if it wasn't me!? WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BR-"

Misaki bit his tongue to stop himself. Suddenly his angry face turned sad. Like the crying he did still wasn't enough.

Usami for some reason stepped back. And as if there was a magnet pulling him deeper into Misaki's eyes, he stood frozen on the spot. The alcohol washing away, Misaki's desperate face became clearer. Everything in that gray room became foggy, the only thing engraving in his eyes were Misaki's emerald ones.

"I'VE LIKED YOU FOR SUCH A VERY LONG TIME AND THIS STUPID ME IS CRAZY ENOUGH NOT TO FEEL ANY ANGER TOWARDS YOU DESPITE THIS!"

A long deafening silence filled the cell. Heavy breathing from Usami, broken sobs from Misaki. It was a sound comparable perhaps to hell. Full of suffering and heaviness but noone has the ability but to keep on sinking even deeper.

_"Like?"_

Usami blinked a couple of times. His head registering what he just did. Hurting the boy physically, but trying to rape him? A streak of sweat ran down from Usami's forehead down to his nape as he watched the teen's naked upper body and bruised arms.

This abuse of power...since when did he turn like this?

Misaki swallowed hard and stepped towards Usami. Reaching out to Usami's conflicted face, his shaking fingers cupped the older man's face. It was barely a touch.

"Sugita-san, isn't the only person in the world who loves you..." Misaki whispered, smiling sadly.

"What the hell...are you saying..." Usami whispered back. Suddenly he slapped the hands away and turned for the door.

For some reason, Usami turned to look back at Misaki. The older man felt like crying himself.

"I'm sorry..." Usami mouthed out of nowhere.

"_Sorry because he hurts me? Sorry because he couldn't return my feelings? Both?" _were Misaki's thoughts as he watched Usami's pained face looking at him.

"I didn't want to try...assaulting you..."

The door opened and closed. The slamming sound echoing through the night signalled something.

The thick wall growing even thicker. An end to endings.

And since that night, no Usami Akihiko came for that door.

* * *

on to the last chappy^^


	3. Soulful

**Soulful**

* * *

The sound of irritated writing against paper echoed into his room. He couldn't type anything. So deciding to try writing with a pen and paper, Usami AKihiko tried to build up a story for his profession.

But no idea was coming into him. Just a freaking confession that kept on ringing into his ear like a ghost that was following him everywhere.

"Bullshit..." he cursed, throwing his fountain pen against the wall.

He stood from his swivel chair and stood before the window overlooking the innocent, peaceful looking city which under its facade, was concealing more secrets.

_"Sugita-san, isn't the only person in the world who loves you..."_

Usami lighted a cigarette and the heavy smoker he was, he started smoking one cigarette after another.

Has it been a month and a half since he last visited that cell? Since that night when he almost raped Takahashi Misaki, he couldn't even force himself to go near that place.

"How can he like me? We never even met," he exhaled while his brows were in a deep frown. "I don't care anymore..."

As the man still in his suit late at night stared at the night view of the city below him, the reflection of his window mirror changed. A face of someone else taking form. At first he thought it was Uruha's. But it was Misaki's.

Usami huffed. All that making Uruha's murderer suffer had etched the boy's memory in his head. He wanted to scratch it away, but the more he shoo them, the more they engrave in his brain.

Now that he was out of his insane trance of Uruha's death...he realized, he was crazy himself.

"Serve the sentence like one should..." he exhaled. "I've been overboard as well..."

Just as he was about ready to erase Misaki's memories ad pretend the young man to be dead like he initially thought he'd do, his doorbell rang.

It rang and rang and rang.

The shrill sound almost irritating him.

Usami peeked into the peephole and surprised, he opened the door abruptly.

Takahashi Takahiro threw himself at Usami's feet. Touching the man's legs, clinging tightly into Usami's flesh.

Usami was taken aback. "Takahiro? What are you doing?" he asked as he tried to get away from his bestfriend.

"Usagi...Usagi...please...kill me...kill me!"

Getting confused by the moment, Usami bended and picked his bestfriend up. That was the time he noticed the deep circles under the man's eyes. The weight that was lost. The pale complexion. The burdened look. Takahiro seemed like ten years older than his real age.

"Usagi...I am begging you..." Takahiro whispered in his hoarse voice. He wanted to cry but he already was out of tears. "Kill me..."

All the blabbering started reaching into Usami's head, his chest sensing something was definitely wrong.

"Takahiro...I don't understand you!" the silverhaired man shouted, shaking the other man heavily.

Takahiro grabbed Usami by the shoulders. His fingers digging hard.

"It was all for money and fame...I thought I'd be happy...my talent...everything..." Takahiro muttered hurriedly, brokenly, shakingly. "But my brother...my brother...it's too late to realize that all these fame and material things I acquired is nothing without him...let go of him please?"

Usami sighed as he walked away from Takahiro, stubbing his cigarette onto the ashtray nearest he could find. _"Brother's desperation to protect his younger brother?"_

The one being asked looked into Takahiro's unkept form. His eyes getting a glimpse of the centipede-like stitches he got from his injury that fateful night.

Raising a brow, Usami looked the other way. "That's impossible. Setting aside Uruha...your brother still killed a human. There's no escaping that."

Takahiro bowed down on the floor. Shaking and like a crazy man sobbed. It was the first time Usami saw the man so...uncomposed.

"My brother is innocent..." a muffled voice escape Takahiro.

Slowly, Usami turned to look at the begging man before him. His face blank.

Takahiro looked up. "Misaki is innocent...Usagi...my brother didn't do anything..."

"Takahiro...wha-"

"I KILLED URUHA!" Takahiro blurted. "I WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM BECAUSE OF OUR RESEARCH!"

Takahiro started crawling towards Usami.

"M-Misaki just arrived that night. He saw me...and took the crime for himself because I was greedy! God...USAGI...RELEASE HIM...YOUR FAMILY OWNS THAT PLACE RIGHT? I'M WILLING TO PAY WHAT HAS TO BE PAID...THROW ME IN INSTEAD! BUT PLEASE...IF MY BROTHER DIES...I'D DIE!"

Almost kissing the floor, Takahiro once more begged before his bestfriend.

"Usagi...I'm serious...Misaki just did those things for show...my career was just starting off...and he's always been a kid like that...taking everythig for himself even if it matters sacrificing himself...Usagi..."

Usami's hands fell on his side. He wasn't able to hear anything anymore but that one part. "'If...if your brother dies'?"

"The cell guard...gave me a message Misaki's seriously ill..."

The words didn't sound like it was even believable. For all the strenght in Usami vanished as he fell seated on the center table horrified. Usami didn't even know what was going on anymore.

Usami clasped his hand over his mouth. "Oh my god..."

_"I could kill you right now and no one would know."_

_"I am going to make your life miserable...you don't know what you got yourself into...by crossing ways with me."_

_"Why isn't this enough Usami-san?! What would you do if it wasn't me!? WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BR-"_

_"I'VE LIKED YOU FOR SUCH A VERY LONG TIME AND THIS STUPID ME IS CRAZY ENOUGH NOT TO FEEL ANY ANGER TOWARDS YOU DESPITE THIS!"_

_"Sugita-san, isn't the only person in the world who loves you..."_

"Oh my god..." Usami stood unsteadily and dashed out of his flat not even locking it.

* * *

His car made loud screeching sound as he drove through the middle of the night. The dark streets, the silence, the glaring taillights of the car before him as the traffic sign turned red. It was all eating away at Usami's flesh his grip on the stirring wheel got tighter and tighter.

"Fuck...FUCK!"

Usami pressed on that horn button a number of times. And when he couldn't hold it anymore, he let out a yell. A yell from the pits of his stomach it grazed against his throat.

His voice echoed and disappeared into thin air. And huffing, Usami slammed his forehead against the stirring wheel. His lips only visible from under, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he suppressed a shameful cry.

He wasn't allowed to cry and beg for anything. Why was he so afraid so suddenly? Conscience? No. Fear? No.

It was something unnamed yet deeper.

* * *

It seemed like a maze. A long maze where one could easily get lost.

Usami ran. His feet carrying him so fast like a wind. His tie already lose flying to the side. His face ashen.

Each time he thought he'd reach the medical facility of the prison privately owned which his family runs, it seemed like it just gets farther and farther away.

He made a shortcut, running past a number of cells. And for some reason he halted. The familiar door he used to open was there before him.

Usami, huffing, swallowed hard as the cellguard emerged from the door, holding what seemed like meager belonging's into his arms.

"What are you doing?" Usami asked.

"Ah sir..." the bulky man looked down on his arms and back to Usami. "Takahashi's stuff. It seemed like he wouldn't make it...so I'm cleaning up-"

For no reason at all, Usami grabbed them off from the bulky man's hands.

Usami couldn't even get mad at that time. Something was loudly buzzing in his ears that he left the other guy and continued with his run. He didn't even feel so much conflicted like this when Uruha died. Why now? _Why now?!_

The moment he saw the huge door sliding doors to the medical facility proper, his fast steps became slower. As if he was having second thoughts of going in.

Cautiously, breathing deeply and heavily, he pressed onto the door, pushing it and suddenly, the white lights, the white floors and the white walls that were nothing short of a hospital stung his eyes after all those gray darkness.

Before he could continue, something fell from what he was carrying. Like a two by two ID picture contrasted on the spotless white, tiled floors.

He picked it up and grunted as he saw a young Takahiro and very much younger Misaki grinning at the camera. They wore smiles so bright it was hard to believe the situation they were in suddenly.

He decided to tuck it in his pocket, but then brought it back to his face.

For when he flipped it over, it was a picture of himself three years younger.

Usami almost lost his balance and he grabbed on to the walls for support. His breathing thick and his throat felt like something was about to explode inside it.

The man ran his hand over his forehead, pausing over his eyes. _"What have I done..."_

A few more seconds passed before he was able to drag his feet once more. Leaving his spot, the floor where he stood briefly had some spots. Like small droplets of rain, they shone under the bright lights.

* * *

He did saw unfamiliar faces looking at him. Perhaps he looked sick himself. Usami was wearing an ID classified as one of the people running the entire place, so they just stared with confused looks.

And then he froze.

A nurse who just pushed open a smaller door revealed a color he wouldn't mistake for anyone else. That small figure on a white bed could never be any one else.

He gulped as he dragged himself towards the door.

He just entered unannounced. His gaze not leaving the pale face on the bed. Misaki was as white as the bedsheet.

"W-what's his condition?" he asked not looking at the doctor.

The man in white pushed his glasses on the bridge of his nose not too much surprised that this silverhaired man was there.

"He's very much dehydrated...hey...what's the current temperature?" the doctor suddenly turned to his nurse.

"42 degrees sir..."

Turning back at Usami as if he was just announcing the weather, he continued. "His fever won't go down and reached that point. If this continues, it might result into irrepairable brain damages or internal organ damages. Or death."

"Can't you do anything?!" Usami hissed at the doctor's face.

Calmy to the point that it was irritating, the doctor sighed. "_I _already did everything I am supposed to do. It's all up to his constitution now."

Hearing that, Usami was rendered speechless as he watched the motionless, thin and lifeless body on the bed. The only sign of Misaki still being alive was his heavy and raspy breathing filling the room.

Minutes passed and hours went by and still Usami was just standing there. He hasn't moved an inch from the spot where he appeared before. And like him, Takahiro, crying helplessly for his brother was also there.

Surprisingly, Usami couldn't even muster the strenght to get angry over Takahiro at the time. He was just...worried. Nothing else.

As the night went deeper and the silence grew louder, Usami for some reason looked to the open door. He looked because he saw someone pass by. Brunette, thin and wearing white.

Usami threw a look at the body on the bed for a few seconds before running out of the room. Making Takahiro and the nurses on standby look at each other's faces confusedly.

The man ran, his hair and shirt disheveled. His judgement and everything was clouded because of anger that he wasn't even able to see things through. He was more foul than a murderer. And now...he was one big messed up grown up.

He didn't know if his brain was making up things. He didn't believe in spirits or anything related. But what could he do when he was so sure that was Misaki. He was sure of it. That boy walking away from that spot was Misaki.

"Taka-hashi..."

The boy turned. He looked so healthy. Bright and gentle. The Misaki he never got to see.

Surprisingly, Usami didn't feel any fear...he just knew that if he didn't stop this Misaki before him from going away, the Misaki laying on the bed, 50:50 would also vanish too.

"No...ah...I'm sorry...I...God...I didn't know anymore..." Usami almost begged. "P-please don't go...please don't die...?"

The Misaki figure just smiled. He continued walking away, until before Usami's eyes he vanished.

Dumbfounded, Usami stared into air.

Until the silence was broken by Takahiro's shouts and cries.

From where he was, he could here it clearly. Usami could hear it very clearly it rang deep into his skull.

"MISAKI! MISAKI! NO, NO NO!"

Slowly turning to the room he came from, Usami then dashed to the place where the scream was coming from. Nurses and the doctor looking after Misaki was gathered around the fragile form. Usami couldn't see past them.

Takahiros' sobs sent shivers down Usami's spine. Every fiber of his cell tensing. His very core experiencing utter fear.

When all the commotion ended, they stepped away from Takahashi Misaki's bed. The silence and the sullen appearance on their faces were enough to draw conclusions.

"I'm sorry," the feared words from a doctor seemed to vibrate endlessly into Takahiro and Usami. It made the reality sink in.

_"Sorry?" _Usami repeated.

Takahiro went to his brother. Asking, begging, crying all at the same time that no one could already understand what he was saying. To everyone's surprise, Takahiro, hysterical, fainted.

_"This is real?"_ Usami asked. He couldn't hear anything from the nurses who rushed to Takahiro anymore as he walked close to the bed. He stood there, cold and weak. _"Isn't this the same as me killing you?"_

Usami placed his hand over the boy's nose and mouth, feeling for any breathing but there was none.

"Wake up," Usami whispered. "Please...I know already...I know it already..."

The long fingers of the man traveled from Misaki's still warm forehead to his cheek. To the boy's neck to the boy's arm down to the boy's hand.

"I haven't had a proper apology to everything I did to are still a lot of making up for me to do...don't do this..."

The closed eyes, shining from tears left unshed. The half-open mouth, chapped and pale made Usami grit his teeth.

To everyone's surprise, for a man exuding so much tense air around him like any royalty, his tears started running down his cheeks. Call it selfredemption, being haunted by conscience or whatever, Usami was begging all the gods there was for the first time in his heart.

"Misaki...let me make up for my mistakes...I swear I'll do anything. If you tell me to die, I'd do it. Just..." Usami whispered while brushing his fingers into the wet mop brown hair.

Usami collapsed on the side of the bed, buring his face on the boy's chest. Not caring about everyone in the room, and broke down.

"...Just come back. Just come back to me..."

No one aside from Takahiro and Usami knew the story behind why there were being like that. But they all felt sorry for the silverhaired man trembling over a lifeless body.

Sobbing he never did in his entire life, Usami stayed there like a child. A child hoping for something so impossibl but still so much clinging into.

Usami cleared his throat, ignoring the ticklish sensation on top of his head he thought was just a breeze.

But the gentle sensation againts his hair so focused only on one spot couldn't be just a breeze.

He looked up slowly with his blurry eyes. It was a hand, fingers brushing into his hair. Fingers that came from the boy before him.

The people in the room gasped. Some couldn't believe it. Some uttered a small prayer.

The boy has beed dead practically for nine minutes. This wasn't short of a miracle. That loss of oxygen into the brain could cause severe complications. But there he was, moving still weakly, yet alive.

"Mi..sa..." Usami whispered hoarsely.

Eyes halfclosed, Misaki opened his mouth.

"W-water..."

Breaking out in more tears that wasn't so him, Usami pulled the thin form into his arms and hugged him.

"I'm sorry...God...I'm sorry..." Usami repeated and repeated.

Misaki just ran his weak hand over Usami's back. As if saying "It's okay".

The teen who just crossed the after life and went back burried his face on Usami's neck. His words were so soft like just a passing breeze that tickled Usami's skin.

"I told you...I can't get mad at you..."

* * *

It seemed like everything was just a dream. All the things they went through. All the realizations of how fragile a human heart and mind was, they all swirled into a grim yet bitter-sweet memory.

Takahiro, who named all his belongings from the medicine discovery to Takahashi Misaki, his brother surrendereed himself to the police instead. Taking the responsibility he should have done so from the very start.

"Don't cry Misaki..." Takahiro whispered, brushing his brother's tears gently with his thumb after the verdict has been delievered. "I didn't mean it...but a human action has it's consequences. That's how the world revolves..."

"Nii-chan..."

"Usagi may be hating me now...but he promised me he'd look after you until you can stand in your own feet...he'd take care of you...I'm sure."

"Don't say it like we won't be seeing anymore!"

The brother smiled at the younger one, his face so much better that he finally was able to let out the burden he tried to keep inside him.

"Have I ever said that you are my sun, Misaki? You're worth more than you think...have more self-confidence..."

* * *

It was silent and calming. The breeze brushing against Usami's cheeks. He had rolled the car windows down and was enjoying the view from an uphill. He just came from hearing and wanted to ease the crying of the little brother that was left, he brought him to a drive.

But Misaki fell asleep on the way.

Since when did he feel this peaceful, Usami wondered.

The greenery before him, the small figures moving from far away, they all suddenly felt so precious to him.

Strectching a little, Usami then turned to the seat beside him. He watched the soft strands of brown dance over the brunette's face. He just realized it until now that when Misaki's eyes were closed or looking down, his eyelashes that were so long were casting playful shadows over his cheeks.

Usami reached out to brush boy's cheek slightly. He almost lost another precious being. That feeling of relief...what was that?

He removed his dark blue coat and tugged them gently over the sleeping form's body before looking out once more at the sky.

_Uruha...I'm letting go now..I've found someone to pour my attention to. The two of you isn't comparable and you're always a part of me...but there's one similar thing between you two. He saves lives in his own way. He tried to save his brother. And he also saved me in other ways..._

_I don't deserve him. But I've come to harbor strong feelings I don't have yet the courage to call 'love'. Right now...I just want to pay everything. Cherish him, protect him and take care of him._

_Uruha...I realized love is the root of all evil. It made me show something I didn't even know I have. But it is also the root of all goodness. At least that's how Misaki showed me. _

Usami threw a glance at the person on his passenger seat.

_Uruha, the heart I thought would never beat again when you died started beating once more here in my chest._

_I think you'd understand this of all people and you'd support me._

_I guess this the end for us. _

_Goodbye._

* * *

**_chapter end notes:_**

OMG...THAT WAS HEAVY EVEN FOR ME...LoL..this is definetely the effect of too much green tea in my head. then mixed with black, unsweetened coffee, a reciper for brain disaster...hahaha

ERM...YEAH...

**NOTES:**

i think you already all know...the old man saying he thinks of Misaki as 'spring' because in Japanese culture and many other cultures, Spring season symbolizes hope and new beginnings and starting up.

-i don't know much about prisons but i have one in mind (the prison in Mine, Yamaguchi.^^) while writing this and just pretend Usami family owns it. LoL,

-42 degress if untreated and left for a long period of time is damaging

please do tell me your experience while reading this. honestly i scared my self at the scene where usami saw another misaki out of the room. sort of like a spirit. hehehe

THANK YOU FOR THE TIME.

-always grateful for the support and love

-shuusetsu


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